This story needs a lot of work and a complete rewrite.
I’ll see what you can do with this in class today and then decide if this article can proceed this semester as a stand-alone story or whether it will be incorporated into the Native American story.
Things to fix:
1) It needs to lead with Valenciana speaking on the radio, in Spanish, to the Hispanic community in Northwest Arkansas, about how to avoid getting taken to the cleaners when they buy a home. Look at the radio script and blend that material into the top of this story
2) Work in the high rejection rate into the anecdote as the problem she is trying to solve.
3) Use the class research on mortgages and applications. Compare to the white population.
The broadcast piece is a useful exercise to see how our material would come together. It does, however, have a number of production issues. I would not work on this any longer given the time left in the semester.
This story needs a lot of work and a complete rewrite.
I’ll see what you can do with this in class today and then decide if this article can proceed this semester as a stand-alone story or whether it will be incorporated into the Native American story.
Things to fix:
1) It needs to lead with Valenciana speaking on the radio, in Spanish, to the Hispanic community in Northwest Arkansas, about how to avoid getting taken to the cleaners when they buy a home. Look at the radio script and blend that material into the top of this story
2) Work in the high rejection rate into the anecdote as the problem she is trying to solve.
3) Use the class research on mortgages and applications. Compare to the white population.
4) Fix material as outlined below.
Here is my edit so far – I will take another look at it before class:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FlAyv6hdxfyH8Nbb9Hiw6ff5vAiQdXLdM8U5ReS7ax8/edit
The broadcast piece is a useful exercise to see how our material would come together. It does, however, have a number of production issues. I would not work on this any longer given the time left in the semester.